the more you know: Poltergeist


February 9, 2012 by jooshanoosh

I’m sorry to report that the special effects in Poltergeist do not hold up. As a result, the movie is just not that scary anymore. How is it that I thought these special effects were terrifying back in 1984? None of them look remotely real! You could argue that we’ll feel the same way about Avatar in twenty years, but at least Avatar doesn’t feature a tornado made by someone scribbling on the film stock with a pencil eraser.

I loved Poltergeist when I was an early teen; it was rated PG so we were allowed to watch it. We always wanted to watch it at sleepovers, but everyone made an excuse to talk or go to the bathroom during the scene where Marty rips his face off in the mirror. Why we were so scared I will never know, since it’s basically a dummy head covered in wax and cheese whiz.
There’s also the following concerns:
Skeletons that do not look like skeletons
“The Beast” number 666 who looks like an angry old goat wearing a diaper
A swirling orange CGI thunderstorm that moves a few hundred miles per hour but doesn’t concern anyone
A ghostly hand that shoots out of a television set, courtesy of “Steamboat Willie”
A room full of swirling toys being flung around, courtesy of a giant green screen
Child actors
I would not necessarily recommend you not watch Poltergeist, especially if you loved it as a kid. But you should be educated and aware: this movie is a relic. JoBeth Williams looks great, and there’s some funny parts. But overall it’s just not scary and the steak that slides down the counter and starts cooking looks super fake.

3 thoughts on “the more you know: Poltergeist

  1. Josh says:

    There was pretty much nothing scarier than this movie when I was a kid. It just seemed like IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU! You know, like that tree in your backyard might just eat you and a midget lady might come over and give you confusing directions about going into the light/ staying away from the light.

  2. Patrick says:

    Be that as it may, Daisy is not allowed near the TV if it somehow gets turned to the snow channel. And when I make Lindsay go turn it off, we always tie a jump rope around her waist and I have a small stack of tennis balls near me, just in case.

  3. wendysue says:

    What about when they land in the bathtub full of jello? That was always my favorite part. (Truth: everytime I see lightning I start counting, "1 one thousand, 2 one thousand, 3 one thousand. . .)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: