March 20, 2012 by jooshanoosh
I’m sitting here trying to figure out what to blog about and nothing is coming…
Once, when I worked at Blockbuster (I was around 17), I had the job of putting the letters on the marquee for the coming attractions, and I had finished it early in the afternoon. That night (or possibly two nights later), a woman came in and asked who was responsible for writing the marquee. Well, it was kind of a hard job ’cause the letters would fall off at the slightest wind or jiggle on my behalf, so for some reason I actually thought this woman was going to tell me what a great job I did (incidentally, people rarely comment on things that are right). Anyway, I had spelled ‘Coming’ as ‘Comming,’ and had to head out with my long rod with a suction cup on the end and face the wind.
I have always been bad at spelling. I got a ‘D’ in spelling in the 5th grade. I remember it clearly. I actually thought, ‘Huh, I guess I can’t spell.’ It was like I was just in school to find out what my strengths were, and to then focus on them and shun the rest of it. (Eventually it all became ‘the rest of it.’) But I don’t think you should get a ‘D’ in 5th grade. Even if you earn it. Come on, you’re gonna hold back some kid ’cause he thinks ‘very’ has two R’s? (I did…until Jr. High… I knew you could spell it with one ‘R’, but you also had the option of two if you needed it. I can’t think of when that might help you. Or of another word that has options in its spelling… oh, wait: Theater.) I once had a girl friend who told me she loved the way I spelled ‘While.’ She didn’t tell me I was spelling it wrong, but saw it as endearing. This still makes me nervous any time I write the word.
I have always liked to write but hated to spell. It’s just like Peanuts and Peanut Butter. I would say that Peanuts are my favorite nut, while, as a child, I hated Peanut Butter. But in my old age, I have learned that I really REALLY like CHUNKY Peanut Butter and could take or leave the creamy.
I have found that as I have gotten older, I love things that I once hated, or was supposed to hate. I had Brussels Sprouts for the first time in my life this past winter and they were show-stopping! I loved them. As a matter of fact, we got those Zip Lock Steamer Bags just so I could steam up some Brussels Sprouts and eat them, all by themselves.
I love those Zip Lock Steamer Bags. They are Great! It says right on the bag how long you put in a half a bag of Broccoli, or a whole bag of Peas. You do what it says, and Presto Stanley! You have yourself bright, green, crisp veggies in a matter of seconds.
Another incredible invention (and this is something I have actually wanted to Blog about for a while now) is this scrub brush from IKEA. This thing is 99 cents! And has fully changed the way we do our dishes. A few months ago you might have found me digging through dirty dishes, hunting for our filthy scrub brush, only to find out that my better half had put it under the sink (next to the Drain-O and Rat Poison) in order to keep it clean. Well, not any more, my friends. See that little circle on the tip? That is a suction cup (only now does it occur to me that this is a much smaller version of the tool I once used to misspell words on the Blockbuster marquee). This suction cup can support this guy so he stands on his own, next to the cold water knob on top of the sink. I can ALWAYS find it, and it is no longer damp and filled with smutch. When I need it, I just reach out and there it is, dry and ready for work. And for 99 cents! I told Lindsay that the next time we are at IKEA we are picking up six…or ten of these dish washing MIRACLES.
Once, when I worked at the Barnes and Noble Cafe, I invented a drink called a ‘Miracle.’ It was mostly just iced Chocolate Milk with a dash of Hazelnut syrup, but I loved them. I loved them because I loved the idea of people walking up and asking me for a Miracle. Which they never did, of course. I never wrote it on the chalkboard menu. I didn’t think I could spell ‘Miracle.’ And besides, what what would you charge for one?