March 22, 2012 by jooshanoosh
So I have a special screen saver feature on my computer where, if I’m absent too long, I get a rotating slideshow of some of my pictures. I know, it’s crazy! You probably don’t have this feature. It’s pretty rare. I have a Mac. Anyway. Sometimes if I’m bored I just watch these pictures flash by and remember good times. And some sad times. And pictures of myself 25 pounds heavier. Woo – was I ever a fatty!
Even though there are like 2 billion pictures on my computer, my computer still likes to replay the same six or seven. It totally plays favorites. So it will show 25 random pictures, then one of the six or seven, then 10 randoms, than another favorite. And the favorites are completely arbitrary. There’s nothing magical or aesthetic that would signify why my computer likes them. It’s a choice determined completely by zeros and ones and I get that. But it’s also a little haunting, like my computer is trying to send me a message.
Take for example, this photo above. This one is clearly one of computer’s favorites. Don’t ask me why. It’s a picture of me talking to Kelsey Howell and Anna Mortimer Greene on the Millenium Bridge in London. That’s St. Paul’s in the background (tuppence a bag.) It’s a nice picture. I like the Millenium Bridge, even though they blew it all up in one of the Harry Potter movies. But I’ve been on this bridge dozens of times, so it’s not really a commemorative photo. What is my computer trying to tell me? I think I may have an idea.
Every time this picture pops up I can only see the jogger in the background. I think he’s funny. He’s making eye contact with the camera and seems annoyed that we have stopped in his path. He totally photo bombed us, this guy with the dark socks and the fanny pack (sorry, Brits! “Tummy” pack?) Whenever this picture pops up I laugh. I don’t know why it’s so funny. He just looks really tired and he’s running way too fast. Who is this person? Why is he haunting my computer? (Click on the picture, and you can see it better.)
I know this is really far-fetched, but miracles happen all the time on the interwebs. I’m just throwing this out there: does anybody know this guy? He’s probably English. Is he your co-worker? He’s got a great head of hair, that’s for sure. (Tell him I said that!) Ask around. Ask some people. Maybe they know this guy. I want to buy him a beer at a pub and thank him for all the laughs. I won’t be drinking beer, so relax. I think we could be good friends. I think we could hang out. I’m into jogging! (mostly on a treadmill but I’m open to trying bridges.) Does he know that the guy in the brown corduroy pants is watching him? Creepy. Does he struggle with a few extra pounds around the middle? I totally get that. It’s the married man curse!
I feel like my computer wants us to be friends.
Unless my computer is warning me. Maybe this jogger wants to murder me. I guess I never thought of that.
Oh well, anyway you guys, ask around! Just see if you can get me a couple of leads.