Get to Know Me

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October 8, 2012 by jooshanoosh

It has occurred to me that with five of us writing on this here Part Time Authors blog, that many of you may not know much about us, individually. Perhaps you are friends with Chris, or used to date Josh, or bought clothes from Patrick, or were in a play with Brett, or stole money from me at an ATM, and so you heard about PTA, but don’t know the rest of us, personally.
So I thought I would officially introduce myself and help you learn a bit more about me. Honestly, I wasn’t sure what to share, though, so I just borrowed one of those questionnaires that are so prevalent on the Facebook. I’m pretty sure we’ll know each other super well after this speed-friendship type of introduction.
1. First Name: What do you want it to be? (OK, it’s Ken)              
2. Were you named after anyone?  My pops.
3. Do you wish on stars?  Well, if by “star” you mean celebrity, then yes I have. I once wished Jennifer Lopez would stop making movies.
4. When did you last cry? When I filled up the gas tank on our 12-passenger van.
5. Do you like your handwriting?  Meh. Not really.
6. What is your favorite lunchmeat?  Pizza.
7. What is your birth date?  March 17.
8. What is your most embarrassing CD?  Well, I do own Neil Diamond’s “The Jazz Singer.” But I will go on record that I am in fact NOT embarrassed about it. I am slightly embarrassed about my TV Theme Songs CD. That is, until the Golden Girls theme song comes on, because really, if you did in fact throw a party and invited everyone you knew, you would see the biggest gift would be from me. (And the card attached would say “Thank you for being a friend.”)
9. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you?  Yeah, I think I would. But mostly so that I could hang around my wife, Katie.
10. Are you a daredevil? Oh, heavens yes. This one time I ate ice cream AFTER 10 p.m.! Oh, that went right to the thighs. I just threw caution to the wind on that one. But I’m crazy like that.
11. Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell?  No, my friend.  Your secret is still safe with me. (Wink, wink.)
12. Do looks matter?  Well, mine do.
13. How do you release anger?  I make out my “People to Whack” list and hand it over to my mob friends. 
14. Where is your second home?   The car.
15. Do you trust others easily?  Why? What are you getting at? What is this for? Who else knows about this? 
16. What was your favorite toy as a child? Star Wars figures.
17. What class in high school do you think was totally useless? Yes.
18. Do you have a journal?  I do, but I never use it, as I can’t read or write. I don’t even know how I’m completing this questionnaire.
19. Do you use sarcasm a lot?  I use sarcasm exclusively.
20. What are your nicknames?   Craigles, Kenfusion, Keneroni, KC, Kenji, Kentacular. (Most of these I just made up. But I didn’t want to look un-cool by not having nicknames.)
21. Would you bungee jump?  When I was younger, I did bungee jump. I also skydived, para-sailed  and occasionally would break dance. Because before you have children, you are immortal and pretty sure nothing bad will ever happen to you. I have since learned NOT to publicly break dance.
22. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?  Shoes?
23. Do you think that you are strong? I can open peanut butter jars for Katie when the lid is on tight – whassup?!
24. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Just put it in front of me.
25. Shoe Size? Again with the shoes?
26. Red or pink? Red or pink what?
27. What is your least favorite thing about yourself?  Hmmm, let’s see. Uhm…gee, I dunno. Well, there’s my…no, that’s not it. Oh, I know – nah, that’s not a good one. Well, there’s always…nope. Hmm. Oh, now I remember – my indecisiveness.
28. Who do you miss most? Sunday afternoon naps.
29. What color pants and shoes are you wearing? Black shoes, no pants. (Scottish kilt.)
30. What are you listening to right now? My tummy. It’s saying “more ice cream.”
31. Last thing you ate? Well, I’m trying to eat healthier. So I had a bowl of steamed vegetables. With ice cream.  
32. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? An oak. Oh, wait, that’s if I were a tree.
33. What is the weather like right now?  Dark.
34. Last person you talked to on the phone?  Heidy. (You know Heidy, right? Sure you do. She’s super fantastic and very popular.  That’s her!) Well, she’s very excited about the mission age thing!
35. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? That they are more attractive than men.
36. Favorite Drink? Strawberry lemonade. WHAT? It is TOO a manly drink!
37. Favorite Sport? Trying to find the car keys. I guess it isn’t my favorite, really, but it’s the one I end up playing more than any other sport. 
38. Hair Color?  I’m a natural brown. I wasa natural brown. I’m more salt than pepper now.
39. Eye Color? Brown
40. Do you wear contacts?  Nope.
41. Favorite Food?  Yes, it is.
42. Last Movie You Watched? Clue. (Getting in the holiday spirit.)
43. Scary Movies Or Happy Endings?  Can’t we all just get along?
44. Summer Or Winter? May through December is where it’s at, for me.
45. Hugs OR Kisses?  Now slow down there, sweetheart.
46. What Is Your Favorite Dessert? Why don’t you just ask me to choose my favorite child while you’re at it?
47. Living Arrangements? I make Katie happy, and I get to live with her.
48. What Books Are You Reading?  Entertainment Weekly. It’s FASCINATING!
49. What’s On Your Mouse Pad?  Uhmmm…looks like ketchup stains.
50. What Did You Watch Last night on TV? Nothing.
51. Favorite Smells? The beach. Clean laundry.  
52. Favorite Sounds?  Laughter. Wait. The sound of somebody falling down. Followed by laughter.
53. Rolling Stones or Beatles?  U2
54. Do you believe in Evolution or Creation? Does anyone really believe in evolution? I mean…REALLY? Do they also believe in goblins, the boogeyman, and taxes?
55. What’s the furthest you’ve been from home? China.
56. What is your pet-peeve? People asking me what I like most about myself.
57. What do you like the most about yourself?  Oh, you are KILLING ME!
58. If you could change something about yourself, what would it be?  I would change it so that I could FLY! 
59. Who is your make-believe hero and living hero? Well, I believe that the children are our future and that the greatest love of all is learning to love yourself.
60. If you could teach one thing to the world, what would it be? I’d like to teach the world to send me money so that I wouldn’t have to work for a living, but rather spend my days becoming a world-traveler and famous writer. And work on my tan.
Now, is there something I should know about you?

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