an interview with: the phantom of the opera!

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October 10, 2012 by jooshanoosh

Back in the days when I was young and sprightly and had my own blog, I used to interview a Halloween character every October. You know, just to get to know them a little! Golly, I’ve met with Nosferatu, Jack the Ripper, a witch, and a bat. What a lot of weirdos! Anyway, I thought I would bring this feature to PTA where it will continue to puzzle and underwhelm our readers. Last night  I watched the 1925 silent classic The Phantom of the Opera with my kids and we were all horrified! My kids were horrified by the Phantom’s face, and I was horrified by how fuzzy the whole thing was. But it was fun all the same, and I thought this might be the perfect time to sit down with the Phantom himself!

cc:   It’s so great to meet you! Can I call you Erik?

Phantom:  What? Erik? No.

cc:   In the movie you reveal your real name to be Erik. Do you think that’s a scary name? I kind of don’t. Eric is not a scary name, but I guess switching the C to K helps a little.

Phantom:  Well, I was named after my mom’s sister.

cc:   Your mom’s sister was named Erik?

Phantom:  I’M FROM FRANCE!!!

cc:   That’s right. So. How did you find all those cellars below the Paris Opera House?

Phantom:  Have you read the novel?

cc:   No. Should I? Seems long and boring.

Phantom:  Well, then, you won’t want to hear the “long and boring” story about how I found the cellars.

cc:   My loss! So, how did your face get all messed up?

Phantom:  Have you read the novel?

cc:   No. Next question. Why do you like Christine when clearly she only likes you when you put her in a trance?

Phantom:  She’s not in a trance! She’s feeling mysterious and sexy when she hears my voice. Ladies do that.

cc:   I don’t know many ladies who feel mysterious and sexy when I talk, and I do truck commercials.

Phantom:  When you talk, you need to add an echo effect. And you should wear a cape.

cc:   Hmmm….I will think about those things. What is your strange obsession with monkeys?

Phantom:  Do I have one?

cc:   Yes! There is a creepy monkey in the movie, and when I saw the fantastically boring Andrew Lloyd Webber Phantom Sequel Love Never Dies in London you had a monkey for your bartender!

Phantom:  Guilty! I love monkeys!

cc:   I love monkeys too. Well, I’m just about out of questions. What are two things you would like our readers to know about you?

Phantom:  Number one, how did I find those cellars under the opera house? Number two, how did my face get all messed up?

cc:   I think we’ve all learned something today. The more you read, the more you know!

Phantom:  And I can also teach a lot of people how to sever chandeliers without being detected. See ya in box five, suckas!

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